Thursday, April 2, 2009

Baby Girl For Sale

This is a WAAAaaaaaay back Throwback Thursday - clear back to the spring of 2004.
I've been asked to repeat this story several times, and thankfully I'd filed it away. Now those of you that didn't have the privilege of knowing my Miss Mack when she was a toddler can enjoy a laugh at my expense as well.

You can't make this stuff up...
And now, Michaela at 20 months.

Friday I got up early and showered with baby girl. Nice and clean, dressed cute.... should take her out and show her off!

I got back from taking Zachary to school and was a little ahead of schedule... so I thought I'd go shopping to a neat kids store that has great clothes and gadgets...

I called Mother in-law to see if she wanted to go along... sure.... she needs an hour to be ready.... "but we're ready NOW, do you think 1/2 hour would work for you?" I say. "Yes.... half hour will be fine" she says. She'll be waiting for us.

Great. 20 minutes after 9..., 10 minutes to be at Mother in-law's house... time to load the car....
but wait... Michaela, sweet cherub that she is, is playing in the potty! (Mother in-law broke the potty lock off last week and one of the gadgets we'll be purchasing is a new potty lock... just a reminder.)

So... change Michaela, wash her down.... new clothes for her.... better get a clean diaper. Wait right here baby.

I return with dry didie in hand to Jacob hollering..."Michaela pooped on the floor and she's playing in it!"

Not to worry, it's not ALL on the floor... most of it is in her jacket... the inside mesh part. The only poop on the floor is the poop that she tracked off the bottom of her feet.

Scoop up baby and put in bathtub (which was freshly cleaned earlier in the morning, nice and shiny, but now with brown streaks...) Trickle water so she'll stay put, but the little darling won't drown herself... Start poop scooping on living room carpet that was professionally cleaned two and a half months ago. Put jacket over edge of potty, (still unlocked..., no matter...she'd be cleaner if she managed to get in it at this point...)

Finish washing baby, (again.... seems that her skin is getting pink...must be the COMET I'm using to clean her up!)

Clean clothes for her, another cute outfit, but not quite the same.

Tackle cleaning that jacket, contemplate just wadding it up and throwing it away... but the frugal me (very small part) decides to give cleaning it up a shot. Get most of poopey out of jacket and into potty... take to washer to wash it ALONE and then make mental note to bleach washer out later...

Now....where's baby?..... We can go now....

Oh! Here's baby! Seems the precious sweetie was thirsty and got a juice box, older brother likely helped to procure said juice box. (note to self: see if baby can actually open the fridge lock and drawer in fridge all by herself... if so, this is not a good thing...)

Not all of the juice has made it IN to the baby... most is soaking into the table cloth and baby's formerly dry outfit. But some of it is on paperwork and toys left on the table. Begin the task of washing toys and discarding the less important papers now sticky with apple juice.

Change baby yet again..... wipe off sticky juice with dry parts of previous outfit.... skip the tub this time. Find an outfit that isn't covered with food stains.... better check the dirty clothes hamper for something that doesn't stink...

Collect table cloth for next load of laundry.... clean sticky juice off of table, note that my shoes are sticking to the floor now.

Grab wet paper towels to clean floor... finally done.... turn to see baby grabbing my portable 1 quart drink and dumping down the front of herself and onto the floor in the part of the kitchen I hadn't cleaned yet....

Stop screaming, for fear of neighbors calling police..... Start wiping floor with baby pointing out the spots I've missed "he-uh momma..., he-uh momma..., he-uh momma...".

Grab baby and take her to the van immediately (being careful not to get myself wet on her soaked outfit...) and strap into her car seat, which she has yet to figure out how to least not the bottom part...

Go back to kitchen and give one last swiping to kitchen floor... mopping myself out the door on the way to the van.

Realize that I've forgotten my quart sized drink and go back to kitchen for it.

Retrieve drink and head for van again, slipping on wet floor and nearly killing myself, BUT not falling! I was able to "catch" myself with my leg and back muscles... (mental note, take a Soma before going to bed tonight...)

Call Mother in-law from car phone to tell her we're on our way.... it is now 11:30!

Baby is asleep, poor tired dear, before we reach Nana's house. "What a sweet baby granddaughter" she coos...


It was a productive trip. I managed to buy the little honey a new dress for Spring and her 2nd birthday.... that is - if she makes it until then....

Also ordered her twin size bedding to match her big girl bedroom.... that's REALLY being optimistic wouldn't you say?

I'll send out a photo of my precious in her new dress when they're developed. (See photo above - that's the dress.)

On the way home we stopped for ice cream at a great orange grove stand. Got the little princess a scoop of chocolate..... I know, I know.... I brought it upon myself.... But at least I have a full load of laundry to do now, from TODAY alone!!!
Here's what the boys looked like back then - Jacob is barely 4 and Zachary is a few months from 7. Six months later we endured "the hurricane" that blew us to Texas.


  1. Wow.....ROFLOL, that sounds like one heck of a day!!!!
    :) Heather S.

  2. I so remember those days..not your mine..that was not a nice trip down memory lane and so often I remember..just canceling whatever plans I had because I was tired of not making it out the door.

    And I had two in diapers at one time.

    Maybe you should reread this each time you get a hankering..or wait till she's old enough to help!

  3. My oh my....LOL. I can't stop laughing, that is hilarious and only unbelievable so someone who has never had children!!! Thank you for sharing.


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