Monday, December 1, 2008

Stuck On Christmas

I had a brief encounter with an old friend today – one I first made acquaintance with in the 70’s. My old friend Super Glue…

Not so “super”.

Why is it that Super Glue works better on soft tissue than it does the broken glass stuff that you’re trying to repair???

Someone (nameless – but shorter than me and not a licensed driver) broke the wings off of our Christmas “Activity Scene” angel. You know the Activity Scene… you probably have one… with Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus lying in the manger with the three Wise Guys looking on… It sits in a little wooden half-barn with moss hot-glued to the roof.

Anyhow – I decided to do a quick repair job on the angels’ wings while it was quiet and nobody would bother me. Quiet doesn’t always mean they’re “into something” around here. Lately it just means they’ve sneaked out of our classroom and back down the hall to their bedrooms or gone outside to play rather than do school work. And if they’re very, very quiet mommy will forget to get them back on task. Most times I let them sneak away for a bit – simply because I love the quiet. Or sometimes it’s just because I’ve gotten distracted myself. Now where was I??

Oh yes – the “Super Glue”.
So I have the angel wing pieces in my left palm and I’m holding the tube in my right hand and opening the tube with the thumb and index finger of my left hand. (Just so you know – I’m typing this myself…so it all ended OK…)

This wasn’t my first ever encounter with Super Glue – I’ve been making little (usually unsuccessful) repairs to broken stuff, including fingernails, for a long time now. I know it sticks and it sticks fast (but only if it’s something you don’t want stuck. Then it’s a forever bond!)

How ever experienced I was, when I removed the cap the glue shot from the little tube like a small child had jumped on the end of it and it splatted across the base of the fingers of my left hand and all over the wing pieces.

Of course I grabbed the angel wings, now dripping with “Super Glue” and for a millisecond tried to figure how to get the glue from my hand onto the broken edge of the wings so that it wouldn’t be wasted. I decided instead that I should get if OFF quick and then just reapply it when I had more time to think.

It was at that moment that my cell phone rang. Against my better judgment I answered it, knowing by the ring that it was my friend Grateful and she’d get a kick out of knowing I was having a super glue crisis. Ever so briefly the thought that I would be stuck talking to her forever (and ever) flashed through my brain and I quickly disconnected with the promise to call back later.

When I arrived in my bathroom 4.3 seconds later I was already unable to put down the angel wings OR the tube of Super Glue and I was painfully aware that my fingers were now completely fused giving me a webbed hand – and not in a good Super Hero kind of way. I'd have taken a picture for you - but I didn't want to hold my camera forever either.

The good news is I’ll never have to worry about losing the diamonds or sapphires out of my anniversary ring and my wedding band will never ever get lost (just wish they’d be rotated in the right direction rather than upside down on my hand). Also – this would be a great time to go out and rob a bank – since I no longer have any fingerprints.

I know you can remove it with nail polish remover (the reason I ran to the bathroom) but forgot that it can’t be non-acetone nail polish remover. You can try the non-acetone stuff, but really all you’ll get is chemical burns – a nice companion to winter-dry skin.

Hours later I had the bulk of the glue scraped and “peeled” from my hand. A warning to all the fourth grade boys out there – this is not as much fun as peeling Elmer’s from your hand. That part you get that looks like your skin IS your skin.

I did finally get the Activity Angel’s wings glued back on. But they’ve since broken again. When I find out what the anti-venom for Gorilla Glue is I might give that a shot.


  1. you described this I could feel it..which is why I don't own the stuff.

    Go read this.. will feel a "connection" some how.

  2. all I have to say! LOL...ROTFLMO

  3. Fun.ny!!!

    Sorry it took me so long to catch on that it was super glue not hot glue. Super glue doesn't register because it's considered an highly dangerous substance in my home (I've used it only twice and it was two too many times).

    Glad you're ok.

  4. Oh no! I know what to get you for Christmas...emergency room gift cards! LIsa~

  5. In response to one of the comments left here: Is there such a thing as ER gift cards? ;)

  6. Oh My Goodness.....LOL @ Sally!!!!
    I would say your poor thing which was my first thought, followed immediately by this is such a blogworthy thing to have happen. Are you sure you didn't set it up on purpose? Just kidding!!!! Hope your skin doesn't hurt too bad!!!!
    Hugs, :) Heather S.

  7. ROFLOLPIMP! This just made my day! I love how you tell a story!

  8. ROFLOL! Glad you survived the SuperGlue incident.


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